THE STORY OF DOUCHEBAGISTAN Chapter 2 "The Queen"

   Douchebagistan was ruled by an evil and cruel king, but their queen was also a mean and vile ruler.

   Queen Coulter took pleasure in tormenting everyone she met.

   With a heart as black as coal, and as hard as stone, queen Coulter and her coven of douchebags in waiting would spend hours and hours just thinking up evil things to do.

   The evil queen was conceived when a wild boar ate some mushrooms that made him insanely horny, the only living thing that boar could find was a large rattlesnake. The boar did his business with the snake and 6 weeks later, queen Coulter was born.

   While still very young Coulter was slithering through the swamp and came upon an old Nazi's retirement home.

   Coulter went inside and immediately felt
like she had finally found her true family.

   She shared in all the Nazi lifestyle, yes, young Ann felt like she found the place where she most belonged.

   The Nazi's welcomed her and taught her all the things that are important in the life of a twisted evil bigot.

   They even gave her employment training.

   These kind hearted generous Nazi mentors even got together and bought young Ann Coulter her very first work uniform, including the optional handcuffs and cat-o-nine tails.

   It didn't take Ann long to become the best pain giver in the land.

   Soon, people throughout Douchebagistan would say,"if you really want to suffer, go talk to Ann Coulter".

   And that is how Coulter would soon be the queen of the land.

   One day, king Cheney found himself thanking somebody, he couldn't believe that he had done that, he immediately called for his minister of hate, Sir Limbaugh.

   Sir Limbaugh assured the king that what he needed was a mate that would be a constant source of misery in his life, someone who would always be there to crush any empathy that might surface.

   Sir Limbaugh said he knew just the person, and with that he sped off to retrieve Coulter from her usual corner.

   As soon as king Cheney met Coulter, he knew he was dealing with a kindred spirit, he wasted no time in asking Coulter to be his queen.

   They married that very day, and the now queen Ann Coulter was finally able to make the entire land as miserable as she possibly could.

   

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