Wea Culpa

   "What we've got here... is a failure to communicate!"

   This phrase from the film "Cool Hand Luke" is one of my favorite lines.

    My personal opinion is that a great deal of anger and animosity are rooted in the simple fact that information between two or more entities is either missing, misspoken, or misunderstood.

   Wars have been waged, people killed, and empires fallen because the interpretation of a certain set of specifics was not jointly shared. That is the reason that we use blueprints when erecting buildings and other structures, to assure that all participating parties know exactly what procedures will be followed, and what the end result is expected to be.

   I think if we erected buildings and built bridges by giving only oral instructions to the various parties involved in the construction process, we would end up with things that nobody would want to live in.  Certainly would not want to drive upon.

    Another phrase I like was one I first heard while working in retail sales. The key to being successful in sales is knowing what your customer needs and wants, and finding ways for them to get it. The only way to acquire that information is to listen to them, then confirm that information with them immediately. Never assume you got it right the first time. Thus the phrase, "when you assume, you make an ASS out of 'U' and ME."

   For some particular reason human beings seem to me to be prone to believing that if a certain wish of theirs goes unfulfilled, or a statement of theirs gets skewed, then somehow it involves a personal attack.  In reality, it's nothing more than mis-communication.  The lack of one party or the other to convey or receive information as intended. This in itself is usually harmless enough, but it seems more times than not that these errors are taken on a personal level, and retribution is the order of the day.

   What escapes my understanding is why we are so inclined to immediately determine this was a hostile action, instead of finding out the details involved by asking the intentions of all parties, and then making a judgement call. I will freely admit that I do this all the time, instead of requesting of someone the reasons for their actions, I will assume their behavior was deliberate, and without giving that other party the opportunity to explain, I will silently store that information away.

  The problem is that future interactions get tainted by this stored incorrect information, and the problems get compounded, occasionally resulting in damaging behavior.

   I will make a pledge today to honestly strive to give others the opportunity to clarify intent, so that unintentional animosity is minimized, and respect and fairness remain mutual. I hope that if others see this same trait in themselves, that they might also resolve to do the same.

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