Tuesday, August 6, 2013

HELLO 9-11, THE POLICE ARE HERE, PLEASE SEND ME SOME HELP (SATIRE)

  Usually I try keeping up with current events on a regular basis, but I must have been out of town the day they announced the contest on which state was able to produce the highest number of rogue cops.

   It appears to have a lot of competition, even the smaller states are striving for 1st place.

   An interesting but unsurprising element to this contest is that the cops get to make up the rules as they go along.

  
 Because the various police agencies are very secretive about their rogue police teams, it has been difficult to determine just which of the 50 states is currently in first place.

   There is also the added  factor that extra bonus points will be given to the rogue cops who display behavior that sets them apart from even the other rogue cops in the competition.

   Although most all the states seem to be trying to compete in this contest, there are some states that are so well versed in employing cops who already possess the mindset that turns them rogue, that they have a clear advantage over the rest of the field.

   From the information I am able to gather, These are the states that are currently leading the pack, and some of their highlight cop events.

   Arizona: This was to be expected of course, with Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the many illegal roadside I.D checkpoints they institute, they are one of the favorites to win.

   Texas: You knew they would be striving for the top spot here, they've even shown their ingenuity by purposely recording illegal invasive body cavity searches on their police vehicle cameras. Kudo's.

   California: Perhaps the favorite to win the contest is this state, between the Los Angeles police and sheriffs departments multitude of contributions, the state can also boast of the actions of the Oakland transit police, with their "shoot first, ask questions later" policy.

  New York: The unconstitutional policy of random searches allows an opportune advantage for N.Y.C. rogue cops to propel that state in the rankings, and along with their mass corruption, they will be tough competition to beat.

  
 Florida: Certain to be among the top finalists, the habit of killing unarmed citizens, and regarding the murder of non-white people as undeserving of any investigation should prove to be a real plus for the cops of the sunshine state.

  
 Ohio: The recent outburst of over 100 Cleveland law enforcement officers willfully disregarding department procedures and going rogue in a high speed chase that culminated with the murder of two unarmed citizens, shows the determination and desire they have to win this contest.

   It is obvious that the field of competition is fierce and committed, but no matter which state turns out to be the eventual rogue cop champion, they can all be proud of the fact that the cops in their state did everything they could to win.


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