Wea Culpa

   "What we've got here... is a failure to communicate!"

   This phrase from the film "Cool Hand Luke" is one of my favorite lines.

    My personal opinion is that a great deal of anger and animosity are rooted in the simple fact that information between two or more entities is either missing, misspoken, or misunderstood.

   Wars have been waged, people killed, and empires fallen because the interpretation of a certain set of specifics was not jointly shared. That is the reason that we use blueprints when erecting buildings and other structures, to assure that all participating parties know exactly what procedures will be followed, and what the end result is expected to be.

   I think if we erected buildings and built bridges by giving only oral instructions to the various parties involved in the construction process, we would end up with things that nobody would want to live in.  Certainly would not want to drive upon.

    Another phrase I like was one I first heard while working in retail sales. The key to being successful in sales is knowing what your customer needs and wants, and finding ways for them to get it. The only way to acquire that information is to listen to them, then confirm that information with them immediately. Never assume you got it right the first time. Thus the phrase, "when you assume, you make an ASS out of 'U' and ME."

   For some particular reason human beings seem to me to be prone to believing that if a certain wish of theirs goes unfulfilled, or a statement of theirs gets skewed, then somehow it involves a personal attack.  In reality, it's nothing more than mis-communication.  The lack of one party or the other to convey or receive information as intended. This in itself is usually harmless enough, but it seems more times than not that these errors are taken on a personal level, and retribution is the order of the day.

   What escapes my understanding is why we are so inclined to immediately determine this was a hostile action, instead of finding out the details involved by asking the intentions of all parties, and then making a judgement call. I will freely admit that I do this all the time, instead of requesting of someone the reasons for their actions, I will assume their behavior was deliberate, and without giving that other party the opportunity to explain, I will silently store that information away.

  The problem is that future interactions get tainted by this stored incorrect information, and the problems get compounded, occasionally resulting in damaging behavior.

   I will make a pledge today to honestly strive to give others the opportunity to clarify intent, so that unintentional animosity is minimized, and respect and fairness remain mutual. I hope that if others see this same trait in themselves, that they might also resolve to do the same.

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You'll Understand When You're Older

   "You'll understand when you're older!" 

   Everybody on the planet has been told that at sometime in their lives. I have no doubt little pygmy children receive this advice from their little pygmy parents. I'm pretty sure every culture that has existed in the past, and all the future cultures to come, will be familiar with this phrase. 

   There don't seem to be any guidelines, as far as having to be a certain age to have people casually offer these five words to you. In lieu of an answer to whatever question you may have posed to them.

   Now, I know I had these words of wisdom bestowed upon me countless times, for questions that I'm sure covered the gamut of possibilities. Although, at this time, I cannot remember even one of them. So how can I be sure that what I was told is true? Do I understand everything now? Of course not. Did I somehow understand something and not notice it? Possibly. Should I have written all my questions down so I could check them off a list as soon as I understood them? Probably.

   You see, that's the problem with having a person that you trust to give you the correct information to a question you submitted, not only refuse you an answer, but then go on to suggest that in the future there will come a point where your question will be answered. So what they're telling you is that an answer exists--they seem to possess that answer--but you, for some unknown reason, are unworthy of receiving it at the present time. But, if you're nice and play your cards right, that answer will be yours down the road. 

   If you find that response unsatisfactory and push the conversation as to why you must wait for your answer, you will ironically receive the same advice. That you will also 'understand that when you're older.'

    Again, there are no guidelines as to what the term "older" refers to. I will be older in 10 seconds than I am now, is that old enough? Do I need to wait until my hair is white and others have to change my diapers for me? 

   I think either people don't know the answers themselves but they don't want you to know that, or they think these questions you're asking aren't worth their time answering. Either way, it seems like an easy way out for them.

    It has taken me years and years of observation to realize what was going on and how this game was played. So, if you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry.

YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!

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